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Guilty!

Guilty!
09.02.2019
Once I told you that I hide my face because I ‘have another, normal life and I don’t want to be recognized’.Well, it’s not exactly the truth.
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As you know, most of girls take escorting as a short-term fix of some temporary difficulties. Even you, my customers, often ask me “What are you going to do after you finish this job? You realize that you are limited in time, don’t you?” Hah, thank you for your trust:) From my point of view this is a cliche to think that our job is for young girls only. I know personally some successful escort-ladies in their 40th-50th. I myself have clients whom I meet for 12-13 years for now: since the beginning of my ‘career’. Some of them have changed a few wives already, and I’m still there. Actually yesterday I got a call from one of my first clients: he broke up with another mistress and could use a friendly ear. It’s fifth case that I could remember and each time after that we goes for a week to some exotic country, where he’s drowning his sorrows in huge quantities of alcohol and I’m pretending to be a patient listener. In the end of the phone conversation he said: “Monny, do you think I’m crazy? Each time I have troubles with my wife or mistress that I want to complain someone about I call you, my hooker.” I laughed:D Well, maybe it’s specific feature of russian clients (in Norway I’m for 2,5 years only, hard to make conclusions), but I don’t feel that they stop meet me because, for example, I’m getting old. Through years our relationships escort-client become more like a friendship, even though they still support me financially.
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But I moved away from the issue staying incognito. So, it’s used to take escorting as a temporary work, but I barely know a girl who really managed to do this job only once. Let’s be honest, it’s a big temptation for a young lady to earn money that fast, even if it’s contrary to her principles. I’ve heard a lot of promises from girls like “When I earn enough to buy my own apartment I’ll quite.”, “It’s only while I’m studying, then I’ll find a normal job.”, “Now I’m married and husband covers my needs.”  etc. About 90% of those girls came back to business in 3-6months. Other 10% - in a year or so. But they still trying to struggle with it, taking it as temporary solution. Main reason for that - feeling guilty and ashamed for doing this. That is definitely raised by society. 
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Even though we are living in the most tolerant period ever, in very many countries society proclaims sex-workers as outlaw. For most of people we are still somewhere between junkie and killers in the list. And this dissonance between material benefits and social opinion is the reason of self-rejection and constant guilt for most of girls in our industry. They afraid to tell relatives, they afraid to be caught by friends or recognized by neighbors. Actually this is one of the reasons why ladies travel so far from home to do this job, and the reason why do they hide their faces or use fake-pictures. And of course, this is the reason why most of girls have ‘double life’: a normal one, where they’re sisters, mothers, upstanding citizens and hidden one, where they charge 50€ extra for blowjob without condom. And it could be psychologically fucking draining to balance this two different worlds. But it’s not my case anymore. 
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A few years ago I started to feel frustrated after several years of double life. It was so exhausting to invent a new story each time, to keep lying those whom I love. Then I had a frank talking with myself. I admitted to myself that I really enjoy my job and I hardly change it in the future. I realized that it’s my deliberate choice: I am who I am, and those who love me will accept me and if they wouldn’t - well, then we don’t need each other anymore. Probably people who made a decision to confess about their non typical sexuality had the same thoughts:) So as a result I breath freely and not afraid to be seeing with a client in a restaurant; no one can blackmail me like “we know your real name, we got your pictures!”; my  parents always know where I am and I can leave my buddies the address when I’m going for outcall for the first time to feel safe; I can ask friends for the advices how to improve my ad etc... To accept myself and open the truth to others was the best decision I’ve ever made. But even though I free myself from lies, society still trying to make me feel guilty. And this is the real reason why I hide my face.
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Let’s consider particular case: Norway. Officially, selling sex here is not a crime. But then I earn cash, and respectively I pay cash everywhere. But what is it used to think here? That cash is used by old people and criminals only. Obviously I’m not that old, easy conclusion: criminal. Guilty! If I want to put this money to a bank account I must explain where I got them. If I earned them - then I should pay taxes. But so far escorting doesn’t exist in the official list of Norwegian professions I can’t pay taxes for that. Not paying taxes, in turn, makes me criminal again. Such a trap, ah? Under the aegis of fighting human trafficking, landlords could be punished for renting me out an apartment and neighbors are encouraged to blow the whistle if they notice some ‘suspicious activities’, while on the other hand Norway is pretending to be one of the most liberal country in the world, carrying about equality and human rights. Hah, I am loving double standards:) 
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Approximately half a year ago one guy who owned an apartment in Barcode recognized his neighborhood on pictures of DominicaHOT on RE. He wrote an angry post on Facebook in a group of Barcode hosts. Well,  no one asked him what did he do on RE in comments, but everyone wanted to kill Dominica. 
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And then when some escort is robbed or rapped, they show such a real surprise: “But why didn’t she call police?!” That’s why, my dear: because she feels outlaw and has to hide her profession from YOU. When bad guys (real criminals) realize this, they start to use it. For a few years several gangs in Paris constantly robbed girls and took their passports. A few YEARS! An you know what? Only 2-3 girls were brave enough to go to police. Others were scared to death and felt themselves guilty for doing this job, that’s why they did nothing. Approximately a year ago the police commissioner send all girls official letter. Briefly, he said “ “Girls, we are trying to catch those gangs. We promise not to interfere in your business, you are victims here. Please, come and provide witness statements.” Only after that some of other girls started to act and bad guys were caught and punished. But this is a very good example: when society chooses wrong direction of thinking, real crimes flourishing. You punish landlords for renting out apartments to escorts, then girls stay quiet when bad things happen, so rappers, killers and robbers staying safe. Good job guys!
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Conclusion. So far sexworkers are outlaw, even indirectly, we feel ourselves guilty. But while there are people brave enough to fight for our rights (for ex. http://www.pion-norge.no/ in Norway or http://silver-rose.ru/ in Russia), we have a hope that the world will accept us again, as it was centuries ago. Escort as a voluntary chosen work hurts no one. Even helps (I wrote about it here: https://monica-green.com/blog/escorts-the-right-to-exist/) It’s useless to deny the world’s oldest profession, but by accepting it and respecting it you can help a lot of people. Finally governments will have to legalize it. Step by step, by changing your own attitude you can make the world a better place. Accept sexworkers as equals.
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1
Guest
I’m impressed how reflective you are Monica. I agree, if you want to change the world start with yourself.
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greiguten
You are perfectly right Monica, and you have my full support on this subject. In my eyes you are a liberal feminist. Unfortunately I am not very optimistic these problems will disappear in Norway in the near future. Here is a couple of reasons why.

Norwegian feminism are in many ways positive, but like everything else there are also negative sides. To me it seems like that the sosialists claims to have monopoly of defining what feminism are in Norway. And it seems to be a goal for this type of feminism to control male sexuality, even if it means to make life very difficult for escort girls.

The other reason is Christian conservatism, which condemns most sex as a sin. Most politicians of today's government promised to make sexwork more legal, after the last socialist government made it more illegal. After soon 6 years they still haven't managed to do so, even though there probably are majority to do it. The reason why might be a small bullshit political party of Christian believers, who are a part of this government. Of course don't ever trust politicians.

At last I will comment on the start of this blog post. You are one of the most unique, intelligent, brave, funny, beautiful and fascinating person I have ever met. I am very glad you plan on continuing a career that you enjoys, which means you hopefully will be possible to stay in contact with for many years to come. Maybe next 50 years?
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Bigbang
I stand in awe for your choice of profession, and your ability to argue with sence and reason of it. I second every point you make, and share your well argued hope that one day society will see this line of work for what it really stands for and what it is worth - both for the individual and for society as a whole.
Making your line of profession legal, including both the provider and receiver, will be of immense help to so many. But, alas, I still think we have yet quite a distance to travel before we reach the start of this cicle of centuries. As stated above - we have a minority that stands in the way of the majority!
As an unsubstantiated thought I find it strange how we humans, generation after generation, seemingly fail to see and understand the link between crime and limiting laws!

I've said it before and will say it again; If you ever should decide to run for president, and I'm eligble for casting a vote, my voting ballot will have your name written in bold letters at the very top! The world needs more people like you, Monica! And I wish you all the success possible in every respect in the years to come.
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Anders
Well, i just have to thank you for Your last blog. It was interesting to read. My experience on realescort is about 3 years old. I got to know some Girls good and learned about the life. The first thing i learned was when the girls said "this is my world where all boys are assholes". Over the years i know two Girls (both mothers) who got serious sick from the work. I struggle to make a Meeting when i know how hard the life is. How can i have sex With a girl if she hates you? The respect to the girl who makes this work in a serious and respectful mind is something i value highly. Its needed for so many People (myself includeed). I never met you but i wish you many beautiful years whatever you choose to do. In this business its really need for more women like you. Please take care and if you choose to engage in the rights and respect for women in this business i wish you all the best.  
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Vidar_Explorer
Mr guten and Mr bang has said it quite eloquently already, I will regardless attempt to give my views.First, kudos to you Monica, for "coming out of the (escort) closet".

That displays both courage and confidence to do so, one even might say it takes "balls" to do it. (Sorry, could'nt resist that wordplay :-)).

We all agree there should'nt be a closet to come out of in the first place. I.e., being an escort, or being a member of the LGBQT community should'nt even raise an eyebrow, much less cause legal actions, social stigma, or living as an outcast in the society.

Being gay is illegal in 72 (of about 200) countries in the world: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/jul/27/gay-relationships-still-criminalised-countries-report

I have not much consolation to give, except that it could always have been worse, for instance doing escorting outside of the so called "free countries" in the "western world"...:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_by_region
Countries where women are oppressed, abused and exploited.

Being an escort in countries IN Europe is no funny game either:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prostitution_in_Europe
If Wikipedia is updated, the situation in Europe is as follows:

- In a few countries, prostitution is illegal (red)
- in a few countries, prostitution is legal (green)
- In most countries, prostitution is tolerated. (blue and orange): Meaning, government is trying to keep organized crime out of it, while prosecuting the clients.

That means Norwegian (orange) clients, Norwegian apartment owners live under a constant tension, especially the latter. That could perhaps explain the fear and worry experienced as you described for the lady mentioned in your blog.

Mr guten and Mr bang hit the nail on the head when they refer to two reasons why apparently Norway (and several other European countries) take a double standing concerning escorts: - How can something be legal to sell, but illegal to buy? Totally illogical, except for logic has nothing to do with it:
- Christian conservatism/pietism: "Sex is sinful" (in general), "Sex before (outside) marriage is sinful"
- (Part of) feminism: "Porn and prostitution is exploitation of women, and must therefore be fought against with all means"
(http://kvinnegruppa-ottar.no/ )

We see the result of this, and how media in Norway and other countries portray prostitution this way:
- Women end up in prostitution because they were molested as children, became drug addicts, forced physically, mentally, or due to economic reasons.
(https://www.dagbladet.no/emne/prostitusjon)
 
Do not dare to consider or even bring up the idea of a "Happy Hooker", who voluntarily ended up in prostitution because of the money, relationships, sex or whatever (positive) reason she gives.

A prostitute is by pietists' -radical feminists' and media's point of view to be VICTIMIZED.  And her client is to be CRIMINALIZED for the male chauvinist, oppressive, woman exploiting pig he is.
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Bigbang
...imagine a world where people could have access to Mr. Explorers many interesting thoughts (and probably truths too!) for their own "exploration"!

Too QCYRBbad these thoughts and this information much too often only stay within the "congregation".

Have a great day, though ;-)
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Vidar_Explorer
Mr. bang, Sir, for these words I thank you. Allow me to express the equal admiration for your words here and on RE, only perhaps surpassed by your taste in women ! (I am, to exemplify, referring among a multitude to your "One, Two, Three..." review for M&E). I have enjoyed, I humbly add, the same experience, though in sequence more than parallel

Wish for us all to "Live Long and Prosper"
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Roy
The love of money is the root of all evil. We can read this in the King James Bible in 1. Timothy 6:10: For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
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