You love your wife. You are together for a looot of years. You both raised your son, daughter or a few... You respect your partner, you will never betray her... but.... But everyday now is a Groundhog Day. How did it happen? Where is the passion? What to do now? As I think, you it’s lack of emotions in your life. Nothing surprises you anymore.
What is the difference between us (humans) and animals? Right: the higher level of emotional and cognitive processes. Two things that we always need - to feel ourselves ALIVE.
When we are young, we like the experience itself. But when we become elder, we start to realize the value of SHARING this experience. Every time you go to Barcelona, you enjoy seeing Gaudi’s buildings, but it doesn’t give you THAT emotions anymore. You go to Cambodia to Angkor Wat, to Acropolis in Greece, to Côte d’Azur in France, but all that you can say about it this time is ‘OK. Nice.’
No more passion, no more impression. Why does it happen? Because you get used to. And as I think, the solution is to include some ‘new’ element into your life, to get again effect of surprise. Do you remember that time when your child was 3-4-5-6-7 y.o.? Do you remember how he or she was curious, wondered about everything? And how contagious was his/her delight and surprise? So contagious that you started to feel yourself much younger and discover the world again: ‘Indeed, why this grass is fucking green?’
Yes. That’s what I’m talking about. There are periods, when you really need it. The ‘renovation’. And the only way to get it is to invite new people in your life. Kids, grandchildren, new friends or lovers. Only the attraction of new people can make you FEEL again. Because emotions are very contagious. It can gives you fresh look on same things and even change your settled point of view.
Another decision is a hobby. But as any addiction you will always need to dose up: to ride faster, to climb higher to dive deeper... On other words, there should always be something or someone new as well (someone whom you can impress ‘Look, what I can!’)
Don’t be afraid of it. It’s not a betrayal of those whom you love already for years. It’s just a way to prolong your youth. It’s an opportunity to preserve the precious ability to wonder.
That’s what I think. And I’m really interested to get your opinion on this topic: could you please comment, what are your thoughts?