After I found out who was my stalker, I wrote a previous blog. I waited to publish it because I realized, that accusing is quite serious and I must be 100% sure before I publish it, so I decided to meet the girl and talk to her first. I made appointment as a ‘customer’ and tried to get her out to meet in a café in public. Actually, my advice for you is never to meet stalkers, obsessed ex-lovers or fans in private: they live in their own world full of unreal facts. They can talk later that you tried to rape them, steal something from them, whatever. They can attack you as well, so always meet your followers in public. Unfortunately, my girl rejected to meet in a café, so I asked one of my girlfriends to join me just as a witness when I’ll ring her doorbell.
When La_Perla opened a door she recognized me immediately. I was afraid that she will start to deny the fact she texted me all this shit, but she was smarter than that. I told her I don’t like her attention to my person and she must stop with that. I went to the elevator where my witness was waiting for me, but the lady caught me up: “I know you fucked with him!” It was the only thought in her mind. I answered: “Dear, you mistake, but you can invite me for a cup of tea and tell me the whole story face to face”, because I realized that it’s a bit unfair when I was standing there with my friend and she was all alone, and neighbors don’t need to hear all this private things. La_Perla agreed to invite me, and we went to her apartment, just two of us. In my pocket I had a phone that was recording our conversation. I tried to turn on a second phone for recording, just to be sure, but she stopped me: “I don’t want you to record that!” “But why?” She didn’t explain. To calm her down I turned off my second phone, while another still was recording in my pocket: just for my safety. I’ll retell you the most interesting parts of our conversation.
First I asked her: “Can you explain me what’s going on? Who is this Adam and what did he do to you?” “He rapped me.” And you know, at that moment she looked so sincere, so normal, that I even started to feel compassion and got a hope that maybe we can understand each other. I asked her to tell me how did it happened, she said: ”He fucked me without condom”. “Was he your customer? Did you have an appointment with him and he forced you to have sex without condom?” But she couldn’t give me a direct answer on that. She said that he promised her a lot of things and told that he loved her, but he was just a liar. “Did you go to police after he rapped you?” “Policeman didn’t do anything. But I will get my Norwegian personal number soon and then I destroy Adam and all of you!” “Ok, but why do you think me and him are connected?” “Because you are submissive and he likes submissive girls.”
WTF? This was the moment where my hope died. I realized that the girl is sick, and doesn’t matter how much I try to understand her, I’ll never manage to convince her that she’s mistaking. “You decided that I’m submissive and that this is the reason I must know Adam?” “Then you posted a blog, then I saw a picture of you on his motorcycle, and then you posted a picture from Aker Brygge and I know he’s often at Aker Brygge…” “So all this was a reason that you started to text me and insult me, call me a bitch…” “But you are a bitch! And you are not 28, you are 35-36, and I know you fucked with him!” The situation was hopeless. She had some weird logical system in mind and she truly believed it. Finally I said “That’s enough, La_Perla. I give you a chance to stop this bullshit, otherwise I will publish everything. If the guy really rapped you, be nice and tell me what happened, maybe I can help you, but don’t involve me in your fantasy-world.” “I don’t need your help bitch!”
She didn’t stop to text me with threats and insults, so I had to block her again and again and published my blog as I warned her. Actually, I think my theory is confirmed. There was some guy who hurt her feelings, she tried to reach him but didn’t manage, so she transferred her obsession and anger on me. This feelings mixed with her envy to other girls (during our conversation she mentioned hatefully Andy Brown and Amelia as well) and dissatisfaction with herself. To protect her mind of the fact that she made a terrible mistake in her life and let wrong man tricked her: he told that he loved her, probably promised to support her financially and may be even take her out of the business, that she bought and gave him her account number, trust and passion, but he never kept his promises… So to protect her mind of all this she created some story, where I’m The Beast. That’s pity. I really feel sad for this girl and hope she will manage to get out of the situation, maybe with professional help and treatment. If the guy really rapped her, hope she will punish him if she receives her Norwegian personal number one day as she sees as a solution.
But as I know, if some case of sexual rapping action happens in Norway, the police take it into attention no matter if the victim has local documents or has not. And I can tell you some interesting things according her accusations, just to add some more psychological aspects to this post, cause my mission now is to carry knowledge to the masses :D When we accuse people in something, the chance that we have done or could have done what we suspect others is very high. I’m not talking about the case when you work as a detective and you have to take everybody as a criminal a priori. What I am talking about is: I would never even think to blame my colleagues in having sex with customers without a condom, because in my mind it is a taboo. In social psychology this is one of main cognitive bias and is called false consensus effect. This is an intention to overestimate the extent to which other people think and behave the same way as we do, especially when it goes to mistakes, failure or rules braking. In my example, so far I’m sure that protected sex is MUST, I tend to think that other girls have the same settings. Or I’m sure, that everybody sometimes crosses the road on red light, because me myself do it from time to time, or did it somewhen in the past. Do you take the point? When somebody is talking too much that our world is full of racists or pedophiles, this is a good reason to pay attention to his own person. If you don’t trust me, google Joachim Krueger racial bias researches ;)
Thank you for your attention, think positive and analyze twice before you blame someone in something: is he really guilty, or you just transfer your own behavior and mistakes on the person?..
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MG♥, your naked psychologist.